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Pleasantries
Jokes
26 through 30
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26
Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than to improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
07-10-2003
27
Adam was returning home late one night at Paradise because he had a lot of work in the fields.
Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN"
Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth" and went to sleep.
Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve. "What the heck are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm counting your ribs" she responded.
07-15-2003
28
A drunken man who smelled like gin sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bath."
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
07-18-2003
29
Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat asks enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes! Yes! I see it!"
And the other bat says, "Well... I didn't!"
07-23-2003
30
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07-25-2003