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Pleasantries
Jokes
16 through 20
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16
A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.
"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"
So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"
"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"
"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
04-18-2003
17
In a restroom at IBM's Headquarters, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "THINK!"
The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "THOAP!"
05-15-2003
18
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors selling all types of snacks and food.
The wife turns to hubby and says, "I
could really go for an ice cream cone."
Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one."
Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down."
Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?"
Wife says, "Get me a Strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles."
Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll
remember."
Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns.
The wife asks him, "What took you so
long, did you get lost?"
The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted."
The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries?!
Wife says, "I knew you you should
have written the order down."
Hubby says, "What do you mean - isn't everything in there?"
To which the wife replies, "No, it's not...look, you forgot the pickles!"
05-16-2003
19
Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
05-27-2003
20
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
05-29-2003