Notabilia

Pleasantries

Jokes

11 through 15

Back to where you came from. An almost similar text in Greek.

11

While driving along a California highway, a driver notices a traffic jam ahead and stops. He notices a policeman approaching him and asks what's the problem.

"A group of terrorists", explains the policeman, "has kidnapped President Bush. They want one million dollars in return. Otherwise, they will throw him in a gas tank, fill it up and set it on fire. You understand that under the circumstances we have to ask each and every driver to offer whatever they wish."

"And what have other drivers offered so far?" asks the driver.

"Approximately 5 gallons each", replies the policeman.

03-26-2003


12

A couple is having dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as the guy slides all the way down his chair and out of sight. The woman across from him seems to not notice.

The waitress comes over and says, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman says, "No he didn't, he just walked in the door."

04-03-2003


13

An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?"

"Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"

04-11-2003


14

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

04-15-2003


15

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.

Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community."

The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer.

Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.

04-17-2003